A friend of mine was complaining to me recently about a member of her mastermind team. “My colleague either arrives late or leaves early, and half the time doesn’t turn up at all claiming to be busy. Well, we’re all busy, but we still manage to make it to all our meetings. There’s simply no respect for us.”
Ah, respect.
I hear her. I sometimes feel that respect is becoming a lost art these days, don’t you? Not the “admiring someone for their wonderful abilities and fantastic achievements” kind of respect bestowed on celebrities, but the kind that shows proper regard for someone’s feelings, rights, and traditions. The “being civil” kind of respect.
I know, call me old-fashioned.
It seems that, every time I turn on the TV or check social media, I’m confronted with examples of aggressive, self-directed behavior. Sadly, treating people with disrespect is not confined to Twitter or Facebook or even politics. It’s creeping into the workplace too. A global HBR study of nearly 20,000 employees revealed that over half of employees feel that they don’t get respect from their leaders on a regular basis.
That statistic on its own may not impress you terribly until you learn that, out of all the leader behaviors this study measured, respect has the single biggest positive effect on employees. Those surveyed felt receiving respect was even more important than receiving recognition and appreciation, getting useful feedback, and being offered opportunities for learning and development.
Now, that’s worth knowing (and doing something) if you’re a manager.
Respect as a Core Business Value
As a leadership coach, I feel so strongly about the topic of respect that I made it a core value of my business. Here’s how I describe it:
Respect: We sincerely care about each client, leader, and project. Respect is what allows us to build strong, long-term relationships, have empathy for those we work with, and act with kindness.
Treating others with respect makes it much more likely that you in turn will be shown respect. (And what boss doesn’t want that?) What’s more, showing respect for others is a great way to develop your team. John W. Gardner, Secretary of Health, Education, and Welfare under President Lyndon Johnson, summed it up nicely:
“If you have some respect for people as they are, you can be more effective in helping them to become better than they are.”
I like this. In other words, don’t try and mold people to what your perfect idea of an employee is. Instead, embrace their differences and find ways to help them flourish using their natural talents. You’ll all be happier for it.
The Concrete Benefits of Respecting Your Staff
If you still not convinced that respect has such an impact on employees, let’s go back to that survey I mentioned above. Those that said they did get respect from their leaders (around 9,200 people) reported:
- 56% better health and well-being
- 89% greater enjoyment and satisfaction with their jobs
- 92% greater focus and prioritization
- 55% more employee engagement
It’s quite clear that showing respect in the workplace, especially by leaders, delivers significant concrete benefits. After all, a workforce that is less stressed, more positive, and more engaged will lead to lower staff turnover, better productivity, fewer sick leave days, and ultimately a healthier bottom line.
“One of the most sincere forms of respect is actually listening to what another has to say.”
-Bryant H. McGill (American Author)
So How Can Leaders Show Respect in the Workplace?
If you’re now wondering how to up your leadership game, here are my six tips for showing respect to your colleagues:
- Remember your manners
Do you recall being told as a youngster to “mind your manners” and “say thank you for having me?”Good manners are not just for children. Understanding and practicing office etiquette is probably the quickest and easiest way to show respect for your colleagues. It includes being mindful of others, making polite conversation, arriving on time, thanking others, and keeping your workspace (and yourself) clean and tidy.
- Learn to listen carefully
I love the Talking Stick Protocol used by many of our Native American tribes. It dictates that only the person holding the stick has the right to speak, and all others must listen quietly and respectfully while that person is speaking. I’m not suggesting you make your colleagues pass a stick around during a meeting, but you could introduce some golden rules such as do not interrupt, listen carefully at all times, and turn your phone off before the meeting starts.
- Give everyone a meaningful voice
This is so much more than giving everyone a chance to express their ideas. It’s also about you—as a boss—taking your colleagues’ ideas seriously, even if you don’t like them or think they’re unfeasible. Ignoring a team member’s ideas or dismissing them out of hand is a great way to discourage them from contributing to the business. Show them you value their input by considering their ideas, asking questions, and letting them know your decision (and why).
- Apply the rules equally
I’m sure you’re not the kind of boss who lives by the mantra “rules for thee, but not for me.” But have you ever found yourself caving into more assertive colleagues who feel some rules just don’t apply to them? It can be tempting to turn a blind eye by telling yourself that “it’s no big deal” or “as long as they get the job done.” But ignoring errant behavior can cause deep resentment among those who do follow the rules. Respect everyone by correcting unacceptable behavior and treating each person the same.
- Demonstrate empathy to those who are different
It can be tricky to respect people you don’t understand, especially if you come from different backgrounds or cultures. One way to overcome this potential stumbling block is to develop your empathetic skills. Empathy doesn’t require you to surrender your perspective but to recognize another person’s point of view. To be kind. It’s an effective way to establish trust and respect.
- Be aware of your body language and tone of voice
It’s not just what you say but how you say it. Your facial expressions, your posture and your intonation can give away exactly what you’re thinking and feeling. Arms folded and eyes downcast? You’re disengaged or disinterested. Fidgeting or gazing into space? You’re bored. Voice dripping with sarcasm? You’re conveying contempt. Show others that you hold them in high regard by using an open body language and a respectful tone of voice.
Do Reward and Recognition programs also help leaders show respect?
Good question. Dr. Paul Marciano, and developer of the RESPECT model thinks not. He feels that such programs chiefly reward employees already highly engaged and that they can be counterproductive. Why? Because they recognize individual recognition and not the overall success of the team.
I think he has a valid point, although I also think that—done right—a reward and recognition program can help employees feel appreciated and valued. For example, you could include team and departmental triumphs in addition to individual achievements.
And you don’t have to reward only those who go above and beyond. You can also give a special thanks to someone who is simply “always there” or who has had a personal victory. With a little bit of imagination, you can design a program that will give everyone a chance to feel respected for who they are and what they do.
My Respectful Conclusion
Reward and recognition programs aside, showing respect costs nothing to implement. It doesn’t even add to your workload because it doesn’t take up any more of your time. All it takes it more self-awareness and a determination to be the kind of boss that everyone wants to work for.
Of course, you’re not the only person in the workplace that should be respectful. All of us have a duty to be civil and kind to our fellow workers. But as a leader, it’s up to you to set the tone. Show genuine respect to your colleagues by following these and other tips, and you really can make a difference.