Like any good leader, you’re keen to create an environment in which your team members achieve results. So, you’re busy setting expectations, encouraging feedback and questions, and scheduling regular check-ins. But how come you’re still not seeing the results you’re hoping for? It could all boil down to one simple thing: You’re not really listening to your colleagues.
Why Leaders Should Care About Listening Skills
There are a couple of sound reasons you should be trying to improve your active listening techniques if you’re a leader. One, your team members will feel sincerely heard (and if they feel heard, they’ll be more invested in the direction you want to take them). Two, by taking the time to fully understand a situation, you’ll make better business decisions. Guaranteed.
Sounds logical, but it leads us to another couple of questions: What does it really mean to feel heard, and how do leaders cultivate effective listening – both in themselves and others?
The best leaders possess the uncanny ability to understand what is not said, witnessed, or heard.
What It Means To Feel Heard By Your Boss
When team members ask to be heard, what they’re really asking for is more attention, feedback and support from you. They want their boss to consider their individual needs, to have their best interests at heart.
I’m sure you can recall a situation or two in which your boss didn’t hear you. He or she may have appeared to have been listening at the time, but you realize later that you were just being given platitudes. Frustrating, right?
Now compare that with a time when you felt that your thoughts and opinions really mattered to those higher up the chain of command. Did you by any chance feel understood and valued, even more motivated to do your job? I bet you did. And that’s the feeling you want to try and engender in your own people.
As a leader, the responsibility is on you to hear what your team members are telling you (either verbally or non-verbally). Do that, and you’ll find you’ll be in a much better position to inspire professional development, improve overall performance and create trustworthy relationships.
Sounds simple enough. Of course, if it were that simple, all leaders would be excellent listeners (and you wouldn’t feel like you’re herding cats half the time). To become a good listener when you’re in a leadership role requires effort and understanding. Amazingly, only two percent of Americans have had any formal education in listening, according to the International Listening Association (ILA). But there are strategies you can develop yourself with a little guidance.
How Leaders Cultivate Effective Listening in Themselves and Others
Effective listening is not as easy as sitting back and hearing what the other person is saying. Follow these guidelines to improve your active listening skills in the workplace:
1. Pay attention: This goes beyond doing the obvious, like not interrupting, not looking at our watch, and not answering the phone when we’re in conversation with a colleague. The tougher assignment is to pay attention to what’s going on inside our own head. Ask yourself these questions to help you evaluate your ability to actively listen:
- Are my thoughts fully focused on the individual and what they are saying?
- Am I listening for content (the words) and meaning (the context of those words)?
- Can I understand the feeling behind those words?
- Am I anticipating what my colleague is going to say next?
- Am I working out what to say in response while my colleague is talking?
We’re distracted, preoccupied or forgetful about 75% of the time when listening to others. (Hunsaker)
2. Practice patience: There are times when a leader needs to be decisive and act quickly. No doubt about that. But I know from experience that there are more times when patiently hearing out someone will get a better result. Discernment is a critical skill for leaders. Knowing when to slow down and assess the situation is just as important as knowing when to jump into action.
Leaders have a vision and a plan to get to where they want to go. That’s essential, but that focus and drive sometimes leads to an inability to accept different ideas. (“That won’t work because…”) Suspending that initial urge to evaluate someone’s comments will pay long term dividends. Instead, dig a little deeper and ask more questions. Be open minded. Even if you don’t ultimately accept your colleagues’ ideas, you’ve shown that you valued their opinions.
3. Show perseverance: Cultivating deep listening habits isn’t entirely intuitive. It takes commitment, focus, and ongoing acts of will. Successful leaders recognize that the ability to listen to team members will help get the results they want. Understanding this will help you to continue fine-tuning your skills, even if it doesn’t come naturally to you.
Ways to develop good listening habits include training courses, seeking feedback from peers and mentors, and asking team members for input. Above all, know that you may have to wait for the seeds of ability to grow before your patience is rewarded.
To sum up…
Active listening may be an essential skill for all leaders, but it’s one that doesn’t come naturally to many people. However, if you recognize the value of active listening and then set about developing your techniques by paying attention, practicing patience, and showing perseverance, you’ll be a much more effective leader.
If you’re looking to expand your leadership skills, check out our Leader Workout Group™ and start your journey!