Not everyone can claim to have feelings of empathy. You’re either born with it or you’re not. But can you be a successful leader if you’re not emotionally intuitive?
Where do you stand on the issue of empathy in leadership? Think it’s the most important skill a leader should have, or do you figure it’s all touchy-feely nonsense?
According to many in leadership development circles, empathy is an absolute necessity for today’s leaders. So, if you’re not blessed with an innate ability to understand someone else’s feelings, should you rush to book a course on “How to Be an Empathetic Leader?”
Not so fast, my friends.
As a leadership coach, I’m a great believer in developing our skills to become more effective in our chosen field (how could I not be?). However, I also believe that we shouldn’t try to be something we’re not. And if empathy doesn’t come naturally to you, it would be a mistake to focus all your energy on something that can’t be taught.
Does this mean you have to resign yourself to being a less-than-successful leader because you lack the empathy gene?
Absolutely not!
In this article, I’m going to look at the role of empathy in leadership and why—despite its advantages—you don’t need to worry if it doesn’t fit with your leadership style.
Is Empathy Really an Essential Leadership Skill?
First, let’s dispel the myth that you can’t be a successful leader if you can’t imagine being in someone else’s shoes. That is, simply not true. There are plenty of examples of leaders who could show a lot more sensitivity and appreciation toward others yet managed to get to the top of the career ladder. I’m sure you can think of at least a couple in your own sphere, if not the wider world.
Having said that, I do believe that empathy is a useful talent to have in the workplace, so we shouldn’t ignore it altogether. But before moving on to consider the benefits (and potential drawbacks) of this much debated talent, let’s make sure we understand what we mean by “empathy in the workplace.”
Empathy vs. Sympathy: They’re Not the Same Thing
According to Gallup, which developed the CliftonStrengths Assessment, Empathy is one of 34 natural talents. These talents are divided into four domains: Executing, Influencing, Strategic Thinking, and Relationship Building. Empathy falls within the Relationship Building domain, the focus of which is on “bringing individuals together and making the team greater than the sum of its parts.”
In terms of leadership, empathy is about paying attention to people: your colleagues, your direct reports, your customers. It’s about sensing and anticipating their needs, even when they don’t articulate them. In other words, it’s about being emotionally intuitive.
Don’t make the mistake of confusing empathy with sympathy. Having empathy with a team member doesn’t mean pitying them, agreeing with them, or condoning their actions. It simply means giving a voice to their feelings.
It’s entirely possible to disagree with someone and still show empathy. Empathy doesn’t require you to surrender your perspective. It requires you to recognize another person’s point of view. Which brings us to the next point: what are the benefits of demonstrating empathy in the workplace?
The Practical Value of Empathy in the Workplace
If you answered my question at the top of the article by saying, “empathy in leadership is all touchy-feely nonsense,” I’m now going to disappoint you. There is undisputed value in empathy. (The fact that CliftonStrengths has designated it as one of 34 natural talents is a bit of a clue.)
Here are five actual benefits of empathy to your leadership:
- It helps your team achieve its objectives (because you know what they need to do their job and you make sure they have everything they need)
- It helps your team generate ideas (because you encourage employees to speak up and you don’t discount their suggestions)
- It helps your team be more motivated (because you recognize their value, express your appreciation, and make their work more engaging)
- It helps your team overcome conflicts (because you notice non-verbal cues and encourage open conversation and mutual support)
- It helps everyone in your team develop (because you pay attention to every individual that you’re in charge of and not just the rising stars)
In short, employees generally respond well to empathetic bosses, which improves a team’s overall performance. The fact that employees become more involved and enthusiastic when their work and emotional needs are met (known as employee engagement) is supported by Gallup’s 2020 survey of more than 100,000 teams across a range of industries.
The Powerful Relationship Between Employee Engagement and Team Performance reveals that highly engaged teams perform significantly better in positive outcomes (e.g., productivity, profitability, and customer loyalty) and achieve far fewer negative outcomes (e.g., absenteeism, staff turnover, and safety incidents). The conclusion is that leaders who work to increase employee engagement are beneficial to team and organizational performance.
The manager or team leader alone accounts for 70% of the variance in the engagement.
Gallup: The 12 Elements of Employee Engagement
Watch Out for Empathy Overload
There are some drawbacks to having too much empathy as a leader, however. First, you may be tempted to overstep personal boundaries in an effort to understand someone. Always bear in mind that you’re a boss, not a friend. Employees won’t appreciate you trying to fix their private problems for them.
Second, it can make you overly sensitive to other people’s opinions. As a leader, you don’t want to find yourself worrying about what people think about you. This can prevent you from making the right decision (or even making any decisions at all). Yes, be aware of the consequences of your well-thought-out decisions, but don’t prevaricate on the basis that you might upset someone.
Empathy Is a Useful Leadership Tool, but It’s Not for Everyone
So, we’ve defined empathy, we’ve looked at the benefits of demonstrating it in the workplace, and we’ve considered a couple of drawbacks too. Am I about to contradict myself and tell you that you need to be empathetic to be a successful leader?
No, I stand by that comment. It’s true that I think it’s a useful talent to have in your leadership toolbox, and there are certainly good reasons for trying to practice this skill if it’s not a particular strength of yours. Ways to do this include:
- Speaking up for colleagues you feel aren’t being heard
- Addressing inappropriate behavior for the sake of the individual and the team
- Creating time to connect informally with your colleagues
- Recognizing and celebrating individual and team wins
But don’t feel the pressure to focus on empathy if it’s not one of your natural talents. After all, empathy is a behavioral characteristic. It’s not something you can learn, like computer or presentation skills. If you’re not a naturally empathetic person, you should concentrate on the strengths you do have, and remember that there are many other ways to build relationships.
As a Gallup strengths coach, I’m taught to explain to leaders that their success depends on making the most of their strongest talents (what we call CliftonStrengths themes) and navigating their remaining talents in a way that maximizes their potential. If you understand what you naturally do best and then learn how to cultivate and direct these strengths, you’ll be a successful leader—with or without empathy.
Interested in Unlocking Your Talent DNA?
Gallup research finds that people who know and use their CliftonStrengths are more engaged at work and more productive in their role. Nancy Maki is a Gallup-Certified Strengths Coach who helps front-line managers and senior leaders build the ultimate workplace teams. If you’d like to learn more about her strengths coaching services, please contact her for a free initial consultation.